I've definitely moved to...

http://wendyportia.blogspot.com

I like the blogging system there much better, and even if it's cranky, it's no crankier than BJ nowadays with the wonky logins due to popups etc...

All the links in the left navbar here are now on my links page at wendywootton.co.uk

I think I'm more or less migraiting...

sorry for the break... I'm all of a kerfuffle really. Anyway, I'm blogging somewhere else today

WendyPortia blog

There isn't much there as I'm just fooling around... but Bravenet is being very very stupid about logging in, so if I can't ever get back into this blog again, you know where to find me!

Finishing the first draft of Suite Seventeen has induced 'end of term' frivolousness... I've been playing hookey...

Portia's MySpace

Portia's Flickr

Portia @ Amazon Connect

Naughty, naughty, naughty displacement activities... but I must get back to work today!

ps. if you've got a MySpace or a Amazon Connect... please sign up as friend!

Suite Seventeen

77,033 / 75,000 DONE! (102.7%)

It's a bit of a strange day as himself has been around for part of it, and there's a sort of happening going on at chez nous that means it's difficult to concentrate while we wait for the result of it. It's one of those things where a yes result would be brill, but a no result isn't the end of the world, just a bit disappointing. But in the meantime, it's hard to focus... Have tons of web work, and also other unexpected stuff to sort out, and still that epilogue to write!

And I don't feel like doing any of it....

Exchanged some emails with my editor yesterday, on various topics, born out of a blog post I sent him a link to. I was very reassured by what he said to me, mainly that even though paranormals are super in demand at the moment with him, he still wants  intense, character driven contemps as well... which is the sort of writing I'm most in sync with. So I feel better on that score, at least...

but I'm hanging in there.

I didn't do any writing yesterday. Just didn't feel like it... There are just so many things that are unsettling me at the moment and my self discipline level is poor at the moment. I looked at a couple of webby bits, but that's about all. In fact I can't remember what I did most of the time yesterday... I know I had a nice long chat with a buddy on the phone, and I watched a bit of Eyes Wide Shut [weird film, and I'm not keen on either Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman... but strangely compelling viewing all the same] but apart from all that, it was mostly a blur.

Today, I'm doing better. I've been working on Suite Seventeen and it's now officially over word budget. I've passed the 75K mark. This morning, I've just finished the main part of the book, although I'm sure there're lots of bits to tidy up and inconsistencies to correct, and now I just have to write a little epilogue to bookend with the prologue... probably about 2K's worth. When that's done, the thing has to 'sit' for a few days, then I'll need to edit it and inflict it on my poor critique partner... As I did a big edit of a greater part of it, maybe there won't be too much to do... I think it may be just a case of finessing in a bit of retrospective foreshadowing and stuff... Anything to make the thing more cohesive, and make the story make sense... and have some validity. I don't know how much of this I'm going to be able to do... because basically we ain't talking about great literature here. We ain't even talking, probably, about a great example of the genre... Because I'll be frank and say I'm only writing to provide a bit of sexy fun, with a love relationship, purely for entertainment purposes. No envelope pushing, no great innovations, no hopes of winning prizes or nominations and stuff... As long as sufficient copies sell and readers enjoy the book. Well, that's okay by me...

I'll probably get my share of swingeing reviews... and I suspect because of Valentino's occasional foible of cross dressing. I think readers who are into fairly classic alpha heroes will go Ew! at the idea of a hero who sometimes likes to don a dress and high heels... If I was starting the book now, maybe I wouldn't go for this twist, but the imprint I write for has evolved a bit since I came up with this concept... and perhaps this frankly peculiar angle isn't the sort of thing that would be commissioned now. However, Valentino is Valentino... or should I say he's occasionally Valentina... and I find that strangely alluring.

But when I've finished with Suite Seventeen... I have absolutely no freaking idea what to do next! Yeah, yeah, yeah... if I was business and career orientated, I would have a raft of partials to present to prospective editors [or better, already presented] in order secure my future and continuity and get immediately back into contract... but I'm rubbish at all that, and basically I just stumble in a condition of blind hope and panic from one idea to the next with no great scheme of things behind me. I'm sure my poor agent thinks I'm a completely hopeless case... but my natural state is chaos and I find it difficult and scary to plan ahead. I'm frankly amazed I've got this far, to be honest.

I'm working, but I'm feeling rather odd at the moment. Sort of emotionally 'tender'... Prone to tears. I suppose it's Boy, really... I don't consciously miss him every moment of the day, but there's a part of me, underneath, who still longs to have him back, fit and well and happy.

Am certainly going to go well over budget on Suite Seventeen. I've 250 words left to hit the 75K mark and I've still a scene and a bit to write. I'm just going to keep going at what feels like the natural pace, and then hope I can either edit it down, or be allowed a bit of latitude for going over the mark. Black Lace books used to be between 75K and 85K and that was a good length, but I suspect production costs have pared the length down... I can't think of any other reason, particularly, why they would tinker with the length.

I'm wondering whether to treat myself to an Ipod or other MP3 player soon. I downloaded Quicktime and ITunes last week, can't remember quite why... think it was to play a vid or something. And now I'm beginning my first experiments in music downloading. Behind the times, as usual, everybody else has been downloading tunes for years, but I'm only just catching up. Have only downloaded two tunes so far... Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult and The Kaleidoscope of Mathematics from the A Beautiful Mind soundtrack... the latter being one of the things that's bringing on the tears now and again, it's so gorgeous. At the moment, I'm burning them to disc, but it might be nice to have a player too.

I was so high and full of enthusiasm yesterday, but a bit of dissage by default has deflated my confidence again and left me with little motivation to write. I hate fairweather friends...

I also went for a walk up into little town this morning, and came back excessively exhausted from only a modest little excursion. So I've spent most of the afternoon watching my new Adam and Joe Show DVD, which I must admit has had me chuckling, so the day's not a complete wallow of depression... A bit of totally demented silliness goes a long way with me. I love their soft toy versions of blockbuster movies [Toytanic, American Beautoy, The Toy Patient etc] and also their Star Wars play figure versions of TV shows...

Now the end is in sight, I'm really picking up speed with Suite Seventeen! I've done 2.3K words today, and am now up to 94% of the book, and significantly, I've passed the 70K mark. Which means I've met the wordcount target, and am now on course to probably go overcount. This isn't necessarily a problem, because there's bound to be plenty of dead wood I can weed out in terms of unnecessary adverbs and suchlike.

Today, I've managed to resolve my current sex scene, which turned out to be pretty much a humdinger and a grab bag of a variety of different pervinesses. They seemed to string together okay though, I hope. Now I'm in an emotionally tricky aftermath, with both characters feeling they've probably gone too far. Annie of course, is mulling this over in introspection... and hopefully, Valentino's expressions and body language are reflecting his inner confusion. I've also managed to introduce Valentino to my very treasured guest star in this novel... Valentino is an ailurophile, just like me, and he's getting on like a house on fire with Boy.

Despite my incessant bellyaching about the many shortcomings of my WIP, Suite Seventeen, I am making better progress with it now... I've just amused myself by updating my progress page for the first time in ages and the little 'bar' thingie program wotsit tells me I've done 91.1% of SS... and that's if it's to run to the full 75K words. I've definitely got that 'run for the stronghold' vibe about it now... so much so, that I'm in danger of falling into the temptation of skimming, instead of writing my usual very intense, deep, claustrophobic characterisation and power exchange mindgames. It's the 'deep' thing that's my strength, I think. I'm very lightly gifted in the plot, ideas, scope, concept areas... but when I'm in the zone, I'm really in the zone ie. it's all very heavy, man. And more so, I think, in first person... Sometimes, when writing the really gritty sex scenes, I have to break off and go for a walk in the back garden in the fresh air to clear my head it all gets so warped!

Anyway, I feel better about the thing now that I can see the end in sight. Did 2K yesterday, 1.4K the day before, and 1.3K the day before that... and so far today, I've done 1.5K, I think. And all this for one scene really... a dinner party, and the aftermath between Annie and Valentino. Which just shows you how intense it all is! The whole book takes place in little more than a week of time. So there's a lot crammed into a short time period, including two people falling head of over heels in love and lust. Which I suppose isn't usual... but it does happen.

So what do you prefer... deep, intense, condensed writing that drags you in and puts you through the emotional and psychological mangle with the characters in a short space of time. Or light, easy to read, frothy type writing that rattles along and doesn't demand a lot of you as a reader?

Me, as a reader, I actually like both sorts of reading at different times.... depending on my mood.

Didn't post yesterday, because a] found it hard to express the lingering horror I feel at the memory of 11th September 2001. Nothing I can say can bring the lost people back, or adequately describe the disgust I feel at the perpetrators of the atrocity.

b] Nobody in the world is interested in my own petty gripes and moans on a day like that, or indeed, any day. Self pity is boring.

Today, I seem to have segued out of self pitying whiner into red eyed, machete wielding, foaming at the mouth psycho. Yes, I'm imagining myself going dog nuts and cutting a swathe through all the things, people, fashions, trends, bullshit and pretentiousness and all the other stuff that's bugging me. Obviously you can't really take a machete to a trend... but you know what I mean! Come the day, all the things tangible and intangible that are irritating me at the moment will get their just desserts and I will rule the galaxy! Tee hee!

Anyway, in an attempt to cheer myself up, I've resorted to one of my usual and illogical tactics ie. spending money I can't afford on stuff that might end up just being crap... I've been running amok at Ebay, Amazon and other places... Purchases include:

• LA Confidential DVD
• Far From Heaven DVD
• five, yes *five* black tee shirts from Allposters.com with designs such as Hannibal Lecter, Flashdance, Albert Einstein...
• cheapo black tops from Ebay with cute designs
• cheapo ethnic type jewellery from Ebay
• Adam and Joe DVD

There's probably some other stuff, but the spree is so ridiculous I've already lost track of it...

And yesterday, I actually wrote some bits of Suite Seventeen that I quite liked, including an angle that really pleased me, and seemed to add a touch of much needed 'depth'... Have also got another bit of an angle for the next scene, which was inspired by my good VDO buddy, Val, who was discussing Clever Bobby's peach lipstick thing over at her blog... This angle probably won't find much favour with readers who are locked into the standard all macho Alpha male hero... but those who like a touch of the exotic and the ambiguous will enjoy naughty Valentino's latest foible... and no, he's dragging up again. Not quite...

Right, I'm going to bugger off now and maybe spend a bit more... watch slash videos over at YouTube.. or perhaps even write a hundred or so words...